Excellent piece, Alex. I found myself nodding along to your points. I can relate to the gym experience. I find it amusing, yet sad, when I look up from a set and see everyone staring at their phones in between sets. Yet I do the same thing! You prompt me to reconsider all the micro-moments in which I pull out my phone to occupy the time.
Love this, Alex!! I think about this a lot too. I intentionally try to minimize time on my phone - both because it takes me away from my experience with the physical world and because it damages the attention and care I show for those around me, especially my partner - but it’s tough. That feeling you described when your phone buzzes and you itch to check it is too real.
One of the only things I’ve found helpful is keeping my phone in a perpetual state of “Do Not Disturb.” Sometimes I miss messages I wish I’d seen immediately, but I also love that I read the messages when I consciously decide it’s a good time instead of allowing my phone to dictate when it’s a good time.
I’m reading Rick Rubin’s “the creative act” right now and a few of the passages that really stuck with me made me want to be on my phone even less. All about how our awareness is the fuel for our creativity - there’s always something new to notice given how the worlds constantly changing but we have to be present to notice it. “When you practice listening with the whole self, you expand the scope of your consciousness to include vast amounts of information otherwise missed.” Considering the moments and experiences I miss when I check out while on my phone felt like such a reality check of all the missed opportunities to learn and connect with the world around me.
Side note: the little voice in the back of my head is like wait! But you learn and connect with people through your phone. Which brings me back to the benefits you alluded to and grounds me in the fact that using our phones can be a good thing when done with intention at the right time and place.
Thanks for the thoughtful comments Syd (and about my face - it's all good)!
Really well said across the board. I love the perpetual DND; have considered going that route a few times. Do you have it set to allow calls from specific people or is nothing allowed to come through?
Great callout on the creative aspect, that's something I missed and is spot on. It's impossible to be creative if you don't pay attention because there's no material to synthesize.
And you're right, intentionality and right time/place can make these things pretty sweet!
Re: DND, yes! I allow calls from my “favorites” and texts from my partner :) (and then notifications from restaurant reservation apps in case I get lucky with a hard to book spot opening up 😂)
It made me think about how it may not always be the worst thing to let ourselves drift off in our worlds at times: that's no excuse for a lack of empathy.
Bravo, bravo. This piece transformed into something very special Alex. This makes me wonder what the "dumbbell moment" is for others - what metaphorical or literal weight slammed into them forcing them to realize them and the world around them is more responsive to the queues our phones send us instead of the queues life sends us?
Valid points, Alex. I have the same difficulties refraining from checking my phone when bored. The only thing that works is to put a distance barrier so it is not easy to reach.
At least we are aware of the problem. Many people don't even think there may be anything wrong with their relationship with internet-connected devices.
Apr 24, 2023·edited Apr 24, 2023Liked by Alex Michael
First, I'm really glad you're ok. Second, I'm deeply sympathetic to your concerns and you put words to it usefully and thoughtfully. We do collectively need to pay attention to the technocreep and saying it over and over again does make a difference. Third, if you're even capable of getting a 70 lb dumbbell off the rack, much less doing curls or some shit with it, maybe you scare the rest of the people in the gym and that's why they're ignoring you.
Thanks Rick! Always appreciate your kind words. Technocreep is an excellent term, I've never heard that before. Regarding #3, I was at Gold's and there were people throwing around some serious weight, so unfortunately I doubt that was it haha
Great post my guy. When I was training for my marathon, I switched my Apple Watch for a Garmin and it took me over a month to stop looking at my watch to see my notifications. It’s crazy how our brains have become hardwired to the need to check our devices, like another hit of the needle.
And don’t even get my started on the phantom vibrations...
“I believe in humanity’s ability to clean up its own messes, to overcome the worst parts of our nature by leaning into the best parts.”
Banger of an essay, Alex. You so beautifully took something terrifying (feeling alone in the gym with that horrible accident) and turned it into something hopeful. Like flowers stretching towards the sun, we are all trying to reconnect with that human part of ourselves. I think content like this aids in that process significantly. Thanks for writing!
Excellent piece, Alex. I found myself nodding along to your points. I can relate to the gym experience. I find it amusing, yet sad, when I look up from a set and see everyone staring at their phones in between sets. Yet I do the same thing! You prompt me to reconsider all the micro-moments in which I pull out my phone to occupy the time.
Thanks so much Rachael! Amusing yet sad is a great way to sum it up.
Love this, Alex!! I think about this a lot too. I intentionally try to minimize time on my phone - both because it takes me away from my experience with the physical world and because it damages the attention and care I show for those around me, especially my partner - but it’s tough. That feeling you described when your phone buzzes and you itch to check it is too real.
One of the only things I’ve found helpful is keeping my phone in a perpetual state of “Do Not Disturb.” Sometimes I miss messages I wish I’d seen immediately, but I also love that I read the messages when I consciously decide it’s a good time instead of allowing my phone to dictate when it’s a good time.
I’m reading Rick Rubin’s “the creative act” right now and a few of the passages that really stuck with me made me want to be on my phone even less. All about how our awareness is the fuel for our creativity - there’s always something new to notice given how the worlds constantly changing but we have to be present to notice it. “When you practice listening with the whole self, you expand the scope of your consciousness to include vast amounts of information otherwise missed.” Considering the moments and experiences I miss when I check out while on my phone felt like such a reality check of all the missed opportunities to learn and connect with the world around me.
Side note: the little voice in the back of my head is like wait! But you learn and connect with people through your phone. Which brings me back to the benefits you alluded to and grounds me in the fact that using our phones can be a good thing when done with intention at the right time and place.
Also, hope your face is doing okay!
Thanks for the thoughtful comments Syd (and about my face - it's all good)!
Really well said across the board. I love the perpetual DND; have considered going that route a few times. Do you have it set to allow calls from specific people or is nothing allowed to come through?
Great callout on the creative aspect, that's something I missed and is spot on. It's impossible to be creative if you don't pay attention because there's no material to synthesize.
And you're right, intentionality and right time/place can make these things pretty sweet!
Re: DND, yes! I allow calls from my “favorites” and texts from my partner :) (and then notifications from restaurant reservation apps in case I get lucky with a hard to book spot opening up 😂)
Ahhh smart move with the rez apps
Such a great essay, Alex.
It made me think about how it may not always be the worst thing to let ourselves drift off in our worlds at times: that's no excuse for a lack of empathy.
Thanks so much Nic! Well said.
Bravo, bravo. This piece transformed into something very special Alex. This makes me wonder what the "dumbbell moment" is for others - what metaphorical or literal weight slammed into them forcing them to realize them and the world around them is more responsive to the queues our phones send us instead of the queues life sends us?
Thanks Haley! Beautifully put...and equally scary.
Well done, Alex. For seeing. For saying. For publishing. Love the article. To living a more intentional life 🥂
Thank you Adia :) Appreciate your thoughtful feedback!
Valid points, Alex. I have the same difficulties refraining from checking my phone when bored. The only thing that works is to put a distance barrier so it is not easy to reach.
At least we are aware of the problem. Many people don't even think there may be anything wrong with their relationship with internet-connected devices.
Thanks Alex, yeah I'm simultaneously glad to be aware of the problem and also exhausted by it haha
:-) Same here. Especially when my wife makes mini-interventions!!
First, I'm really glad you're ok. Second, I'm deeply sympathetic to your concerns and you put words to it usefully and thoughtfully. We do collectively need to pay attention to the technocreep and saying it over and over again does make a difference. Third, if you're even capable of getting a 70 lb dumbbell off the rack, much less doing curls or some shit with it, maybe you scare the rest of the people in the gym and that's why they're ignoring you.
Thanks Rick! Always appreciate your kind words. Technocreep is an excellent term, I've never heard that before. Regarding #3, I was at Gold's and there were people throwing around some serious weight, so unfortunately I doubt that was it haha
Great post my guy. When I was training for my marathon, I switched my Apple Watch for a Garmin and it took me over a month to stop looking at my watch to see my notifications. It’s crazy how our brains have become hardwired to the need to check our devices, like another hit of the needle.
And don’t even get my started on the phantom vibrations...
Dude, the phantom vibrations are so creepy.
“I believe in humanity’s ability to clean up its own messes, to overcome the worst parts of our nature by leaning into the best parts.”
Banger of an essay, Alex. You so beautifully took something terrifying (feeling alone in the gym with that horrible accident) and turned it into something hopeful. Like flowers stretching towards the sun, we are all trying to reconnect with that human part of ourselves. I think content like this aids in that process significantly. Thanks for writing!
Thanks so much Grace! And thanks again for your thoughtful feedback.
"It scares me when I think about losing my own humanity."
Ah, this is too real.
But I appreciate your optimistic perspective.
Thanks for the kind words Anthony!