47 Comments
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CansaFis Foote's avatar

…rock and roll top to bottom what a rad read…

Alex Michael's avatar

Appreciate it Fis!

Michelle Varghese's avatar

Wow, this is so good. I was hooked. I think people forget that when you quit drinking, you also quit a coping mechanism that almost everyone else thinks is fine. Which is ok until you have stuff you have to cope with. Congrats on leaving your job!

Rick Lewis's avatar

good point Michelle!

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks Michelle. That's pretty damn spot on.

Paul Michael's avatar

Beautifully written son. I feel a sadness and, yet, a wonderful warmth of pride in how you have dealt with your losses.

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks Dad. Learned from the best.

Rick Lewis's avatar

This is one of my favorite sequences I've ever read of yours. "I can hear everything, everywhere: planes flying over Canada, foghorns in the Atlantic, a luau in Maui. I can smell the mezcal in Mexico. The living room is a liminal space."

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks Rick. It felt right (hearted) when it came out.

Maps's avatar

I love the way you wrote this. The order of the vignettes. The way you described each scene in the fewest words necessary. In the first scene, you never told us how you felt, because you didn't have to. You used the sunlight and the objects in the room to tell us.

This is masterful writing.

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks so much Pam. Really means a lot.

James Bailey's avatar

I love this: “Two years ago, I would have been nursing a hangover instead of noticing any of this.”

Especially because it’s followed by this: “Forthe first time in months, I sit in my chair comfortably.”

What awareness, presence, and willingness to fully inhabit yourself, your surroundings, and your life.

Love this Alex. Means more having gotten to know you a bit.

Alex Michael's avatar

I appreciate it James. And I really enjoyed the beginning of getting to know you too.

Harrison's avatar

Congrats on 2 years off the sauce! Inspiring stuff.

Although I haven't quit alcohol, I'm sober curious. Last night, there was a pull towards escapism. I reached out to a friend to share my urge. It's amazing what talking to a safe friend can do. If you ever need someone to reach out to, my DMs are open!

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks for the kind words Harrison. Good on you for recognizing it and reaching out to a friend.

trina's avatar

this reminds me of how i felt quitting all my addictions. when you have no way out, you are forced to feel it all. the initial few days, months, weeks are brutal. we feel things we never thought possible. but if we stay the course, we're rewarded with something, maybe even everything - the presence of life. brilliant title and loved your storytelling. thanks for sharing, alex!

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks for the kind and beautiful words Trina, and major congrats on your own journey.

Sherry Ning's avatar

I want more of this format!!!! ⭐️

dxh's avatar

Oh man. Read this on a crowded bus and the commuters around me disappeared. The scenes are so sensory and sharp. I felt my insides clench and twist and flatten alongside your own. Thanks for these images and all the vulnerability you’ve tucked inside them Alex. I know they’ll linger in my mind for a while. And I’m truly glad you’ve stayed off the sauce.

Alex Michael's avatar

Wow. Thank you for the kind words.

Rachel Parker's avatar

This is fantastic, love the non-chronological vignettes. My favorite line: “Ice cream is pretty feeble in the face of existential dread.” Bravo!

Alex Michael's avatar

I appreciate it Rachel!

Jack Purdy's avatar

I resonate with the ritualistic numbing - I experience a sort of existential restlessness every now and then that used to be quelled withe the sauce but now I fall into doomscrolling, consumption, whatever I can to escape. I've found the only real medicine is the brutally hard sitting with it and letting it move through you (writing sure as hell helps!)

Good for you for staying strong brother!

Alex Michael's avatar

Yeah, well said as always. Appreciate it man.

Larry Urish's avatar

Alex, this is a literate, sensitive, raw act of courage. I hope that sharing the pain, uncertainty, and little victories will help in your journey. And I hope it gets easier.

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks so much for the kind words Larry. It's helped a ton already.

Claire Coley's avatar

I said 'wow' several times reading this. Amazing writing, Alex.

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks so much Claire, really kind of you to say.

Rob Tourtelot's avatar

Love this piece, man—the structure, the descriptions of light, the transformation... all so great. The ending's particularly poignant. Really beautiful writing.

Alex Michael's avatar

Thanks brother. Means a lot.

Donna Dean's avatar

Loved reading this. I appreciate you being so real. Thank you.

Alex Michael's avatar

Much appreciated Donna - means a lot coming from you. Hope life is treating you wonderfully.