43 Comments

Just to add to the issue that smartphones bring to the world, and I found this paradigm interesting: my parents spent the weekend with us, they are in their late 50’s and early 60’s, and instead of focusing on their 4mos old grandson, they were glued to their phones. I made a comment about them being on their phones no less than a dozen times throughout the 48hrs they were there as they aimlessly scrolled Facebook.

So it’s not just teens, the boomers seem to be fixated on smartphones as well. Maybe because they didn’t have it for so long or maybe some other reason but it’s interesting to witness.

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I’ve recently realized that I’ve succumbed to the same malady as your folks, Justin. Pretty pitiful and embarrassing for me. Boomers are totally addicted as well.

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Yep. Hits home.

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This makes me really, really sad.

On a separate note - your new Substack name is phenomenal

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Every time I see my mum (late 50s) I struggle to hold her attention because when she's not glued to her phone, it's constantly beeping and booping for her attention. It's so frustrating.

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Very cool to see the final draft of this after early iterations. Loved the way it all came together. It's inspiring. I hope you'll write a follow-up after you've really settled in!

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Thanks Charlie, and thanks again for the excellent feedback. Yeah - will definitely need to write a pulse check after 6 months or so.

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Another excellent piece. So are you saying we're pretty dumb to spend so much time on a smart phone?

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Yep! And smart to spend time on a dumb phone!

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Or rather, less time

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You may have me inspired here... I'm the grayscale using, phone outside the room, occasionally leave home without it guy who feels like he's doing all the right things

The more I think about it though even the 10 second checks throughout the day do way more than steal 10 seconds - it insidiously robs you from what could have been uninterrupted, quality attention spent on the moment, in your thoughts, with another person

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🎯

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Very well said!

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Really interesting Alex. I've turned on Assistive Access on my iPhone but if that doesn't work I might have to look into the flip phones

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I’m not willing to admit I have a problem yet. 😀 But a few weeks ago I started working in the garden for 30 minutes every evening and I do enjoy the time away from a screen

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Instant subscribe Alex, this piece is amazing, not just because it speaks to the same thoughts and feelings that I have, but because of the gorgeous quality of the writing. I copied the model of the phone you got and I’m going to check it out because I feel like the last hurdle that’s stopping me from making the switch is just figuring out which one to get, but I’m determined to follow through and make it happen. I love what you said about quality of attention, that hit me really hard. I want to give my whole life that attention and owning a device whose entire existence is dedicated to taking that quality of attention away is just ludicrous. Thank you for this piece and letting me know about it!

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Thanks so much for the kind words Arty (and the subscription)! Was curious to get your take after reading your piece. I'd be interested to hear what you end up deciding and how it works out.

For what it's worth, there's a whole subreddit devoted to 'dumb phones', and one of the biggest things folks on there talk about is that every device on the market comes with different tradeoffs and ultimately won't be perfect (by design). I found myself spending a bunch of time comparing them before realizing I just needed to pick one and see how it went. I think the Sunbeam series is solid, and they have a bunch of models depending on how much or little functionality you want.

Wishing you the best with this - it's daunting, but well worth it in my opinion!

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Yes, I actually found that subreddit and came to the same conclusion, that you won’t find the perfect dumb phone but you can hopefully get to the closest thing to what you need. Honestly, at this point, I’m leaning toward bringing my iPhone to get “filtered” and have them lock all the apps aside from the basic ones… I’m not sure though because it’s still a smart phone and I feel like when it comes down to it, it’s going to be harder to stick to it if I know in the back of my mind there’s an option to reverse it, whereas getting a dumb phone sort of locks you into that decision. But I use my Waze every day and it’s hard to give up on the camera too… so that might be the option that makes the most sense for me… I actually use a device called the Brick now, but I don’t always lock it so… anyway as you can see, I just go in circles with this decision. I have to just take the plunge! I’ll let you know when I do!

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Please do :)

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This is a great, important, and critical sentence: “I’ve become better friends with myself.”

Thank you. 🙏

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I think so too :) Thank you, James

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I have been using the Orchid from the same MO mennonite company for about 4 months. 2 months in I dropped it and cracked the screen. Something that would have been a big problem on my iPhone is virtually unnoticeable on the flip phone.

I enjoyed reading this and related thanks!

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Love this!

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Thank you for sharing this, I found your article in the comments section of the one that inspired you to pull the plug, so to speak.

I'm almost on the verge of doing it, but still clinging onto fears of things like, how will I navigate on my bike without being able to push locations to my GPS device in mere seconds? How will I listen to podcasts while washing up? What if my friends don't want to take phone calls and I lose contact with them forever?

And I know there are solutions. It's very helpful to read the experiences of others, to help me find them.

The paragraph about Duke, Maribel and the quality of attention really hit me hard, as I'm sitting here next to my 12+ (who knows how old exactly) year-old staffy who spends more of his life sleeping than anything else, and wondering if I'm going to deeply regret all the hours I spent looking at my phone while he vied for my attention. Doesn't even bear thinking about.

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Thanks for the thoughtful comment Mildred. Understandable concerns, for sure. Happy to answer any questions if it would be helpful. And as you can imagine I very much understand that last paragraph - the fact that you're concerned about it makes me fairly confident you've given that pup a great life.

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I think about this idea of quality of attention a lot. It’s something my clients often need without necessarily realising it, and one of the challenges is the lack of experiencing viscerally what full attention truly is. It’s easily to have an idea, a thought about what it is, but it’s quite removed from the feeling of it, the way it resonates as an energy in your bones and body - the way it feels when you’re lying down with Duke.

One of my meditation teachers says something, but I think it’s a common idea in the meditation world: “The quality of our experience is determined by the focus of our attention”

Your article beautifully makes this felt.

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Very well said Eric. Thanks for the kind words.

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Awesome post. Really enjoyed the connection between childhood and life without a smartphone. Having kids, one of which is nearing middle school, it’s sad and frustrating to see how much they are in awe of phones. How much they want one. Like cars when we were growing up, except easier to use and (slightly) less to own. My wife and I try to explain to them, with benefits come drawbacks. And it’s something we’re holding back on for them as long as we can. But the allure and addictive qualities are real, for all age demos. Comments above re: grandparents was tough to read.

I made a couple changes last year that helped a lot. Got a separate phone for work. Seems counterintuitive but not having my work emails come in on my personal phone was an absolute game changer. What I’m noticing re: phone hygiene is easier is often in direct conflict with healthier. One of my 2025 goals is first hour of the day no phone except music (I write to music, usually first thing in the morn). I tried this in 2024 and was intermittently successful. I’ve got a good model for working up to this being a daily habit and started in December. It’s been eye opening, to say the least.

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Thanks man. I have long wondered what it would be like to go through this with kids. Sounds like you're doing the best you can as parents.

Glad to hear that you've made and are continuing to make intentional changes in your own life.

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For me personally, I’d say it’s harder than I thought re: kids if, for no other reason, parents are often unaware how much their example is absorbed by their children. Tricky that way. I may think I’m doing “good” not reading my phone at the dinner table, but there are a lot (too many) other times they’re competing for attention w/ something on the phone. Sometimes it’s for them / about them, school, activities. But they don’t see that. They only see the phone. Some days I wish I’d grown up in the 70s. Oil prices were terrible but there were no smart phones. And Yacht Rock was simply good music. 😎

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Amen to the 70s thing. Drove down and back to Florida this past week and the drive was made enjoyable by the Classic Vinyl SiriusXM station.

I suppose it could be said that knowing that your example is so resonant may help your own cause even more!

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Open road trips are outstanding for writing. I could never voluntarily go for a drive around LA for inspiration but when I get outside the city, in the desert, good things happen.

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Hello fellow Sunbeam F1 Pro user! Beautiful piece. Switching to a dumbphone is both remarkably simple and transformative. I've had mine for nearly half a year with no plans on ever going back.

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Love that! Encouraging to hear. Thanks for the kind words Alexa.

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I'm very late to the game here, but so glad to finally be reading this piece. It's the best no-smartphone manifesto I've read. So moving and great. I love the writing throughout, but also that instead of only painting the dystopian picture (and the guy watching Tik Tok on two phones is very dystopian!), your recounting of these moments with Duke, and the unexpected calls with friends... all of that is so beautiful and appealing. Really excellent stuff, man.

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Appreciate the kind words brother.

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So happy to have stumbled onto your page! I’ve been considering switching to a non smartphone, I think the biggest piece for me is not fitting in, I know that’s crazy to think of but when I don’t have a blue bubble it might feel different in some way

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Not fitting in might be a good exercise!

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Touché

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I’m circling back to a Nokia soon. Did you keep your smartphone as a back up or just jump with no parachute

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No parachute!

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