Alex, I loved seeing your name come into my inbox today. I loved the story, the theme, your choice of words and how you string them together.
Yesterday morning I was walking up my stairs and saw East of Eden on my bookshelf. It seemed it was calling me. I pulled it off and proceeded to reread my favorite few pages when Lee is offering up the perspective on Timshel - Thou Mayest. We may. Or we my not.
And there was this today in your essay:
"I suppose that’s what growth is, really: the discovery of power. Not power in a Machiavellian or even Tony Robbinsian sense, but a more humble and grounded power."
The power of choice. You may choose to have a beer. You may choose not to. You may choose one, or two. Or none for years.
Way to exercise your choice. Your power.
Thou Mayest, pal.
(PS - and way to wrap it all into a beautiful story for us all)
Funny, that's the line that stuck out to me as well. I think this essay is beautiful and captures that arc of spiritual growth. From abusing something to abstaining to finding a balance, a way to enjoy, not depend.
As far as alcohol goes, I always come back to that quote from Chesterton: "Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. Never drink when you are wretched without it, or you will be like the grey-faced gin-drinker in the slum; but drink when you would be happy without it, and you will be like the laughing peasant of Italy. Never drink because you need it, for this is rational drinking, and the way to death and hell. But drink because you do not need it, for this is irrational drinking, and the ancient health of the world."
Fabulous perspective. Drink when you’re happy. It could be interpreted as “Get happy. Let yourself be happy. Then drink or don’t drink. It won’t matter. Either way, you’re happy.”
First, a disclaimer. I'm not a drinker and never have been, but it would seem to me that the essence of this statement describes the key to escaping an addiction from anything.
"I stopped viewing it out of proportion; it was no longer magic charm juice or a panacean escape valve or the liquid ticket to my downfall and destruction. It no longer held an outsized power over me, positive or negative."
I'm not even going to say congratulations, because nothing has been achieved, although, escaping the spell of anything being our savior or our enemy is no small matter.
My Taiwanese neighbor gifts us these delicious pineapple cakes every Lunar New Year. They are small, rich, and I usually eat them all in one sitting. And then I'm sad the rest of the year because I have to wait for months to get them again.
That's how I feel about your writing. Please give me more pineapple cakes.
Congrats, Alex. From my perspective, you've grown so much over the last three years, you no longer need to be addicted to the all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking that saddles so many people with substance issues. The "one drink and I die, lonely and broken" mindset may have helped you after you gave up abusing alcohol, but you're way beyond that. That sounds like freedom! Having one or two beers is ... just having a few beers. And that's okay.
What an incredible way to say, “I had two beers today.”
I’m wondering if you have any regret about the beers now, or if the full freedom of choice is real and taken hold in your body and soul? I hope it’s the latter. If so, you have much to say to others struggling with this. I’ve seen what addiction does to loved ones. They’re prisoners of internal war with few rules of engagement other than that the activity itself brings them their most freedom. It’s crushing to witness.
I don’t drink, but this essay is the equivalent of whatever beer is known for rich, smooth flavor. It’s a profound use of words, Alex.
Such a thoughtful read. What’s particularly unusual about this one is the level-headedness of your return to having a drink. There was something hopeful about making one decision and being able to change that decision rationally, if other factors change. I also think being so non-judgemental is particularly special here, gives that flexibility to make whatever move you want, without having to conform to a box you’ve made yourself.
I’m happy for you. I’ve been sober for sixteen years. Abstinence is pretty much it for me, I’m afraid. I don’t begrudge people who quit and start again, as a lot of my loved ones have, but I obviously also think there’s nothing wrong with just staying quit.
To share your phrasing, abstinence gives me access to powers that I would simply not have with alcohol (and drugs). If I could capture these and savor the benefits of moderate drinking I’d probably entertain the thought, I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me. Delightful read, though.
Alex, I loved seeing your name come into my inbox today. I loved the story, the theme, your choice of words and how you string them together.
Yesterday morning I was walking up my stairs and saw East of Eden on my bookshelf. It seemed it was calling me. I pulled it off and proceeded to reread my favorite few pages when Lee is offering up the perspective on Timshel - Thou Mayest. We may. Or we my not.
And there was this today in your essay:
"I suppose that’s what growth is, really: the discovery of power. Not power in a Machiavellian or even Tony Robbinsian sense, but a more humble and grounded power."
The power of choice. You may choose to have a beer. You may choose not to. You may choose one, or two. Or none for years.
Way to exercise your choice. Your power.
Thou Mayest, pal.
(PS - and way to wrap it all into a beautiful story for us all)
Funny, that's the line that stuck out to me as well. I think this essay is beautiful and captures that arc of spiritual growth. From abusing something to abstaining to finding a balance, a way to enjoy, not depend.
As far as alcohol goes, I always come back to that quote from Chesterton: "Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. Never drink when you are wretched without it, or you will be like the grey-faced gin-drinker in the slum; but drink when you would be happy without it, and you will be like the laughing peasant of Italy. Never drink because you need it, for this is rational drinking, and the way to death and hell. But drink because you do not need it, for this is irrational drinking, and the ancient health of the world."
Beautiful essay Alex.
Fabulous perspective. Drink when you’re happy. It could be interpreted as “Get happy. Let yourself be happy. Then drink or don’t drink. It won’t matter. Either way, you’re happy.”
First, a disclaimer. I'm not a drinker and never have been, but it would seem to me that the essence of this statement describes the key to escaping an addiction from anything.
"I stopped viewing it out of proportion; it was no longer magic charm juice or a panacean escape valve or the liquid ticket to my downfall and destruction. It no longer held an outsized power over me, positive or negative."
I'm not even going to say congratulations, because nothing has been achieved, although, escaping the spell of anything being our savior or our enemy is no small matter.
My Taiwanese neighbor gifts us these delicious pineapple cakes every Lunar New Year. They are small, rich, and I usually eat them all in one sitting. And then I'm sad the rest of the year because I have to wait for months to get them again.
That's how I feel about your writing. Please give me more pineapple cakes.
Yes. This is the sentiment I was going for and your comment says it better than the one in my head.
Congrats, Alex. From my perspective, you've grown so much over the last three years, you no longer need to be addicted to the all-or-nothing, black-and-white thinking that saddles so many people with substance issues. The "one drink and I die, lonely and broken" mindset may have helped you after you gave up abusing alcohol, but you're way beyond that. That sounds like freedom! Having one or two beers is ... just having a few beers. And that's okay.
What an incredible way to say, “I had two beers today.”
I’m wondering if you have any regret about the beers now, or if the full freedom of choice is real and taken hold in your body and soul? I hope it’s the latter. If so, you have much to say to others struggling with this. I’ve seen what addiction does to loved ones. They’re prisoners of internal war with few rules of engagement other than that the activity itself brings them their most freedom. It’s crushing to witness.
I don’t drink, but this essay is the equivalent of whatever beer is known for rich, smooth flavor. It’s a profound use of words, Alex.
Such a thoughtful read. What’s particularly unusual about this one is the level-headedness of your return to having a drink. There was something hopeful about making one decision and being able to change that decision rationally, if other factors change. I also think being so non-judgemental is particularly special here, gives that flexibility to make whatever move you want, without having to conform to a box you’ve made yourself.
Really enjoyed it, Alex.
I’m happy for you. I’ve been sober for sixteen years. Abstinence is pretty much it for me, I’m afraid. I don’t begrudge people who quit and start again, as a lot of my loved ones have, but I obviously also think there’s nothing wrong with just staying quit.
To share your phrasing, abstinence gives me access to powers that I would simply not have with alcohol (and drugs). If I could capture these and savor the benefits of moderate drinking I’d probably entertain the thought, I just don’t think it’s in the cards for me. Delightful read, though.
What an incredible piece. Thank you as always for sharing so generously, and for your beautiful writing.
What great writing! Thank you for sharing this essay. I thoroughly enjoyed it.